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Sometimes I make more memes...

Here’s one I made while playing World of Warcraft, after having seen a Subway commercial while a loading screen for Northrend was displayed. The Lich King likes his five dollar foot long specials.. hahaha

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Yes, I’m still here. :D

Alright, well I haven’t posted in some time.. I haven’t really had a lot to say, honestly. I’ve been involved in taking the beginner’s class to Kemetic Orthodoxy and I’ve ‘graduated’! Yay! While I’m waiting on response to my questionnaire, I thought I would post another random rambling, and what not.

I have to say it is very difficult to concentrate at the moment. There are five kittens hopping around and playing with each other, and it is beyond me how they sound like elephants. A few moments ago I had to ‘rescue’ them in the kitchen because they had somehow gotten into a drawer and were playing behind the drawers inside the cabinets. *eye-roll* They are just like children, you have to keep your eye on them or they are into everything! *laughs* I think they are in the basement now, since I just heard a loud thud downstairs. There’s not much they can ransack down there besides the hubby’s shelf of star wars memorabilia, and that area isn’t my department (except for the cat-box downstairs), so he can tidy up what they mess up down there.

Well, I thought I would mention my ancestor shelf (or, for those in-the-know: my “Akhu Shrine”), I don’t think I’ve discussed it before so here it is. Image
(With apologies for it not being a super nice hi-resolution photo, it was taken with my laptop camera on the fly while holding my laptop up to it, I’ll get better ones eventually)
I enjoy spending mornings here occasionally with a cup of coffee, I also give them a cup (hence the wee cup in the middle that says ‘chargers’ on it, it’s actually a mug from a gum-ball machine, but it makes a lovely mini coffee mug. The hubby likes the Chargers, so it’s his, but it works, so I use it for their coffee.). Family gatherings within my family were never ever devoid of coffee. That was an absolute MUST at any event, even if it was just popping over for a visit, there is always coffee. So naturally, it seems like the best gift to give. I’m quite happy with it, so I think they are too. I thought the oil-burner was a nice touch, because it’s blue (Dua Nut!), and has a moon and stars on the lower part that hold the candle, so when it’s lit you can see the moon and stars. So it’s blue and starry! :3 As one can see, I have several ancestor folks represented, and also by including the likeness of the sarcophagus, I’m including cultural ones as well. I am quite proud of it, as I am those who came before me, those I looked up to, and those who taught me the value of life and integrity. They were always there for me, so the least I can do is make sure they are remembered well. I think that’s important.
I do like sitting there of a morning and having coffee with them. I don’t feel silly about it at all, because I can look at them and remember them, even chat about things I would have told them if they were still around. I think they would have liked to be remembered in such a relaxed way. My family is one that taught me to enjoy the simpler things in life.

Another topic that I had thought of before today is that with all the horribleness in the world as of late, and I’m not talking about any one event in particular, we often forget there are good people in the world. I have heard many say they are questioning their faith in humanity, and I am here to say stop that! There are small kindnesses anyone can do, something as small as a smile can save a life down the road. We are all important, and there are plenty who say we aren’t, but we are. We just have to be aware, and stop perpetuating the negative. The thing is, it’s not difficult. Start by eliminating negative words from your vocabulary. I have to say also, for every person who does a bad thing, there are more good people out there doing good things. I will use World of Warcraft for an example, which I know is weird, but just hear me out. Yesterday I was en-route to a dungeon my hubby was going to run me through for an item for transmogrification. I was passing through Andorhal, and I saw a draenei hunter get mobbed and subsequently killed. I was too far away to do anything to help initially, but as I approached, I was able to resurrect her and then help her kill the quest boss. Granted, yes, it’s just a game, but since it was an actual person behind that hunter, I helped a real person. I may have saved them a little frustration, and hopefully made them smile a little, so it was worth it. I didn’t want anything in return either, and after I helped them I healed them one more time, /waved at them and went on my way. A small thing, and that’s all it takes really. Something as small as holding the door for someone, or smiling at someone, or joking around with your cashier at the grocery store, all simple things anyone can do to make life a little cheery for someone else. There’s other things too, like donating blood if you can, or donating old things you don’t use to your local thrift shop, but it doesn’t have to be big and dramatic. Smiles are free, too. πŸ™‚

Oh…. and by the way… the kittens are taking a nap, and snuggling their daddy cat Harry again…
Image

Pfft.. ok.. yeah.. I’ve been gone a while again. Rest assured, I have been busy, and no not so much on World of Warcraft LOL.

Let’s see.. where should I begin? Well since it’s customary to begin at the beginning, let’s try to start there.

Well the “cross realm zones” on World of Warcraft really have me kind of disgruntled. It isn’t the main reason I haven’t been playing though. I’ve been doing a lot of research, reading, and Googling. I have been looking into the Kemetic Orthodox, and have applied for the beginner classes. I do have a whole slew of reasons for the interest, and it hasn’t been a sudden spur of the moment “OOO SHINY!” kind of thing. I won’t bore everyone with the details, but I’ve needed a good solid spiritual path for some time. I had interests in the Egyptian Mythos and such when I was a fledgeling in paganism, and had put it on a backburner, because there wasn’t any good information available to me atΒ  the time. Someone may argue with that and tell me I just wasn’t looking hard enough… but you aren’t me. I often follow my heart, and while following it, I skip down the cobble stone path while holding hands with my brain (I just really wanted to give you that mental image..lol ). As they say: it’s fine to follow your heart, but take your brain with you. Some folks often look at me and say I’m lighthearted, however, don’t mistake a sense of humor with lightheartedness, just be glad my sense of humor is finely tuned. I am in fact a curmudgeon, and I wear that badge proudly. Feel free to read my post about how I think I should come with a warning label, It’s a humorous insight into me.

I have always said things happen for a reason, and perhaps the brambles have been cleared from this path, which is the reason it has seemed to resurface, and made itself more known to me as of late. Well I have known about the KO for a couple years or so, but I had some concerns for a while about the whole concept of a Nisut; but the more I read about her now, the more I seem to agree with her, and also the concept of a Nisut. Also years ago, when I was first looking into other paths and such, the internet was still a fledgeling on its own, and I tried to find other folks with like minds and didn’t find what I was looking for yet. Also I have friends and family now who are involved with the KO and they are happy with everything, and also aren’t the type of folks who would dive into something unprepared, and I trust them. I can ask them questions, and if they don’t know, they might even know someone who does, or can tell me where to find it. There’s also the forums, where everyone seems to be extremely helpful and nice. Well, I suppose the bottom line is spirituality is a journey, and this could be the next stop, or it could be the destination. Time will tell.

Speaking of time, I’ve also been catching up on Doctor Who, though I’m still behind. So no spoilers in case it’s one I haven’t seen hahaha. I have to admit I haven’t seen a LOT of the new ones, but my first Doctor was Tom Baker, so I saw all those up to Sylvester McCoy. I have seen quite a few of David Tennant with Donna Noble, but not all of them, and I have seen a handful of Christopher Eccelston’s. I am trying hard not to watch any of the Matt Smith ones.

Oh I did an uh-may-zing haul the other day with coupons. One of our local stores puts out a booklet with “Penny Pincher” store coupons, that you can use with manufacturer coupons. The ‘PP’ coupons basically adjust the price, and you can get more than one item on one coupon (it specifies on the coupon itself, like “limit 3” or some such), well you can also use 2 booklets, but you have to break up the transactions into 2 different transactions. Well we did that, and for two big carts of groceries I paid $148 and some change, and saved $97 and a little change. The second transaction was going to come to $107, so with the amount we saved, it was like paying 10 bucks for that whole transaction, more or less. With both carts we filled up the trunk of the car. I was happy.

In other news, my girl kitty is pregnant, and my son is all kinds of happy about it. He’s 10 and he can’t wait for the baby kitties.Β  On a side note, we’re going to get our male cat fixed as soon as possible. I know, though, that these babies of theirs will be cute and snuggly and strangely smart, and curious, well if they are anything like their mom and poppa. hahahaha πŸ™‚ We will have to find good forever homes for them eventually.

I have also set up an ancestor shrine, I hope to get pictures up soon of that. I have items to represent my dad, my grandma, my aunt, and my baby boy Benjamin, that I lost half way through my pregnancy with him. I had gone into preeclampsia and from what the doctor said they almost lost me as well. I often wonder if I didn’t suffer a small stroke from it, because my memory of that time is pretty well shot and for a couple months afterwards I had a weird numbness in my fingertips. My blood pressure was almost nearly double what it usually runs and my pulse was half less of what it usually runs; my normal blood pressure is 130/70, and it was running 210/100, and my pulse was 51, normally it runs around 90 (which is high for a pulse, but my mom seems to think I inherited that from her side of the family).Β  I remember strange things, like the hilarious wacky hallucinations I had while on the pain killers and blood pressure meds, but I often forget what year it happened in. Other than that, my memory is quite good, which is why it really bugs me that my brain refuses to retain anything but strange memories from that time in my life. I don’t see it as a weakness, but just one of those weird things our brains do when faced with tragedy. I’m still trying to recover emotionally from it, but I think I’ve finally decided that I’m not going to let it all bother me as much as it has in the past. Time to get back to being my old self, and leave that pain where it can’t drag me down anymore. I’ve wallowed in self hatred long enough. It’s run its course and it’s time to be done now, and time to let the sunshine back in.

Ah, well I think I have rambled on long enough.. time to go back to something that could be considered more constructive.. πŸ˜€ Also I have an idea for another blog post, and I’m going to be working on another of my world of warcraft funny videos. So I’ll post links to those soon, and make the other blog post soon too. πŸ™‚ I am also thinking about setting up a separate spirituality blog, and leaving this one to my more geeky tendencies, and rambling introversion posts..

A Quick Entry about Couponing.

Ok, this is one of my little side projects, Couponing!

I should start by mentioning I am in no way an “expert”, and really I’m just learning. I haven’t been doing it very long at all. At the request of some family members, who are rather astounded at my savings, I thought I would share some links that I use online to help with figuring out how to coupon, and also sites that let you print them out. Keep in mind this is just what I use, it’s more of a guide line, so if you want to find more resources in your area, I encourage you to employ the use of Google, and look up area-specific websites that will benefit you.

Are coupons worth it? I think so. My last shopping trip to Kroger, I got some out-right free items, a couple because of in-store advertised deals, and some from coupons. The in store deal was for english muffins, buy one, get one free.

Some of the other deals I had coupons for were as follows:

  1. buy 3 Ragu pasta sauces, get 2 boxes of store-brand dry pastas free
  2. buy 5 kraft macaroni dinners and get a 10 pack of capri sun drink pouches free
  3. buy either pledge multi surface wipes OR pledge multisurface spray cleaner, get one free
  4. buy 4 Post brand cereals for 9 bucks (on sale) get one gallon of milk free

Those were just the freebies, there were quite a few other things I bought too.

Then of course, I had cents-off coupons, and my Kroger store doubles coupons up to 50 cents, and I had a few dollar off coupons too.

What did I spend? Well, I have a Kroger loyalty card, which if you use it at the register, it automatically takes a percentage off of your bill. My bill started at roughly 130.00, after the loyalty card scan it dropped to 115, then after coupons, it dropped to 78 bucks and some change. Not bad for a newbie, of course any amount you aren’t spending is great, and that’s the beauty of it. Not only am I saving money, I’m helping to stretch the budget.

How do I do it? Well, it is pretty easy, but takes planning ahead, researching your store’s ads, clipping coupons, organizing your coupons, knowing your store’s coupon policy, and maybe comparing other store’s sales. Really, when you are just figuring out how to coupon, it’s best to stick to one store. Learn the policies, learn the pricing, figure out the sales cycles. If something goes on sale today, and you miss that sale, chances are in 6 weeks or so it will go on sale again, and then there’s holiday sales. Like right now with halloween, you’re going to get great candy deals, sales and coupons. It sounds so very difficult, but it’s not rocket science and if I can do it, anyone can. Seriously.

Where do you get the coupons? Well, a number of places. The easiest way is newspapers. I usually buy 3-5 newspapers on sunday at the Dollar Tree store (where everything is a dollar). For some reason the sundays that occur on a holiday don’t have coupons in the newspapers. Most of the time you’ll be looking for a P&G Brandsaver, a Red Plum, and a SmartSource (P&G only usually comes out once a month). You can google “Sunday Paper Coupon Schedule” and find the whole year’s schedule online, but it’s subject to change. There’s also sites online for printable ones, and many women’s magazines too. Also, you can find quite a few at the store when you shop. Peelies, blinkies, tear-pads, and Catalinas are a few you’ll find. Peelies are stuck to the product, you peel them off and give them to the cashier, blinkies are those little machines next to the products in the aisles that you pull one out of and another pops out, tear pads are just that – a ‘pad’ of paper coupons that you tear one (or two) off to use, and Catalinas are printed out at the register when you purchase certain items. For more information about these kinds of coupons, please refer to the links below in the web sites I’ve listed off for you to peruse.

I know there’s a popular tv show “Extreme couponing”, that show is really unrealistic, which is why “extreme” is in the title. It’s possible to get those kind of deals, but simply not realistic for day to day shopping. Those trips are carefully and methodically planned out, and aren’t typical by any means. It is possible, though, to have a stockpile, and sadly I don’t have one to brag about yet. I’m still getting used to this whole idea myself and it’s taking time to adjust a bit. Trial and error as they say. Right now it consists of food that’s already in my cupboard, and even though I’m good for good while, it’s not the ‘stockpile’ that really gives me bragging rights yet. I’ll let everyone know when I have one I can be proud of!! Why stockpile? Well, the theory of stock piling is to save up on the items you know you will need over the next few months (to possibly even the next couple years, depending on the expiration dates of the food items), so you can take the item(s) off your normal shopping list. Items like toilet paper, for example, aren’t going to expire, so you can stock up on TP til your heart is content, if you’re getting it cheaply. Items that are free or super cheap are what you want to stockpile, because it’s not meant to bust your budget. Get your coupons and hang onto them, in a week or two those items may go on sale, then that’s when you use the coupon. Sometimes you’ll get super lucky and the store will have their own coupons (walgreens does this a lot, I’ve noticed. Other stores too, but most often in my area it’s Walgreens) and you can “stack” the manufacturer coupon with the store coupon, and the sale price, so you get the best possible deal. There’s also register rewards and CVS’s ‘extra bucks’ (when you use their loyalty card the “Extra Care” card) which earn you “money” you can use on future transactions.

These are just some basics I’ve learned about, and there’s also rebates, rain checks and lots of other fun things to learn about when you start couponing..

OK.. so anyway.. On to the list of websites I personally use …
All these sites are free, they may require you to sign up for membership, but it’s free, some of the coupon printing sites require you to download coupon printing software, but as far as I know it’s adware free, it’s just there because the coupons are more or less monitored by the manufacturers and this is how they regulate them to know when a certain amount has been printed, so they know when to close the deal on the coupon when so many have been distributed.

I’m a HUGE fan of this site: “We Use Coupons” They have over 200k members, a forum, video how-to’s, couponing virtual classes, daily deal finders, all free to use.
http://www.weusecoupons.com

Coupon Mom has been featured on lots of tv shows. Her site has a lot of offerings too, included a very concise method of couponing, complete with video how-to’s.
http://www.couponmom.com/

The Cents’AbleShoppin another good site with daily deal findings, forum, and more.
http://www.thecentsableshoppin.com/

This is a blogger who is a member of weusecoupons.com and they have set up a very informative blog, addressing a lot of common issues, and such.
http://vtcouponer.blogspot.com/
Printing out coupons

Coupon Bug
http://www.couponbug.com

Coupons.com
http://www.coupons.com/

P&G Brand Saver
https://www.pgesaver.com/

Red Plum
http://www.redplum.com/

Smart Source
http://www.smartsource.com/
Weekly Store Ads! Most stores do have their weekly ads on their websites. It’s best to google these and find them for yourself because I don’t know if they will display properly without a zipcode or what not. I do know that CVS, Walmart, Save A Lot, Walgreens, Kroger, Target, Kmart, and many others display their weekly ads, so you shouldn’t have much trouble finding your favorite store’s deals this way. It saves a trip to the store to get the weekly ad, and you can compare them right there at your computer, too. The Dollar Tree is also starting to take manufacturer coupons, so I imagine we can see lots of freebies there, and since it’s all a dollar there, they have no weekly ads.

Some things you want to keep in mind is never ever ever photo copy your coupons, and follow the directions on the coupon – use it for ONLY the item stated. Like if it says save 50 cents on Cherry Poptarts 3 count, don’t use it for S’mores flavored poptarts 3 count. That’s coupon fraud, and it hurts everyone. Lots of stores no longer use computer printed out coupons because people photocopy them and stuff, so don’t do it. Be Kind to other couponers too, and don’t wipe out the shelf just because you can, it’s just bad form. Don’t hoard coupons for stuff you won’t ever use (10 coupons for cat food and you don’t have a cat…) you can trade those with other couponers, or if you’re getting the items for very cheap or free (or the wonderful occasion that they might make you money) you can donate the items to charity or food pantry, or give the items to a friend as a gift (Hey, I would totally take a gift of 10 cat food cans, or the coupons, for my kitties).

Anyway, I hope this may be helpful to someone. I’m not suggesting it’s for everyone, but it is possible to save quite a bit if you do it properly. Just get organized, and keep track of your spending, save your receipts, and you should find you are saving quite a bit.

BTW.. I’m not being endorsed or paid to tell anyone any of this.. just sharing what I know, so you can save and pass it along too.

I was googling random old timey funny photos and came across this one.. and honestly how could I NOT resist making a ‘most interesting person in the world’ meme with it?

So, with that in mind, I present to you:

The Most Interesting 1950’s Housewife In the World Meme:
http://cheezburger.com/6668648448

1950s housewife meme

I make memes!

More Randomness…

Alright, so I shouldn’t have to leech off the neighbor’s internet much longer, even though it makes me feel all James Bondy (no not really). I should be back in 100% on October 16th! Hurray!!

Some other things of note:

I’m trying to get back into the whole couponing thing. This time I’m going to attempt stockpiling, since we have the space since we moved. The theory behind the stockpile is that you can take item X off your list for a few months (or a year even) if you buy quite a few of it at a time while it’s at the lowest price, with proper coupons and sale or clearance prices. In the long run, it’s supposed to help save you even more money at the grocery store.

I have been seeing those blasted yellow spiders again. The landlord just sprayed for buggies yesterday, so I’m hoping that kills them. Normally I’m cool with spiders, if they stick to their web in the corner and I don’t see them inviting friends over for cocktail parties and what not.. These little yellow bastards DO run around, they’re fast, and SOMETIMES do that thing I HATE and pop down in front of your face, doing fancy bungee jumps from the ceiling, and even WORSE if they are disturbed they ‘let go’, or appear to jump, from the vertical surface they are climbing on. They have no respect for your privacy either, as I have seen them on bathroom ceilings before while I’m in the shower (not here, thankfully.). Nothing worse than being soapy and no way out of there til you rinse the soap off, while staring at the damned thing, while it violates you with it’s four eyes. Well there is the option of jumping out long enough to douse it with the shower head, and laugh maniacally while it circles the drain, trying desperately to grab on to something to save itself from the imminent watery grave.Β  Since we just moved here, I’m hoping the two I’ve seen are just isolated incidents. I lived in a house before where it seemed to be infested, and I would kill three or four of them a day. They’re very nasty, and somewhat poisonous. I think their venom is akin to the brown recluses’, but not as potent. Horrible, horrible things. Here’s a Wikipedia article on them, if you want to be horrified too:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheiracanthium
Or this one:
http://venomous-spiders.nanders.dk/yellowsacspider.htm

If you want to find out more about them, just google “Yellow Sac Spider”. If you see them, you should definitely HULK SMASH! them. They like to come in when it starts getting cold out, but they’re very prolific, and the poisonous factor is pretty disconcerting. Yuck!

That’s all I got for now. =D

I would like to apologize for being absent for a couple weeks. I’m still not 100% back, but I’m working on that. It seems there was a mix up when we moved from one place to another, and something ridiculous happened with our internet subscription and the mailing address and a bunch of other silliness.. nothing to concern anyone with.. but long story short, that’s why I’ve not been around to tend to my blog. Needless to say, I have a very clean house right now, and have gotten a lot of things better organized, I’m a procrastinator, but take away my internet and I become a house cleaning super-hero! I also missed out on the release of MoP on World of Warcraft, and had to let my WoW subscription lapse.

Let’s see… what else have I been up to… ah, I went to the library on a couple of occasions to check out “Quiet” by Susan Cain, and it’s been checked out both times… so I am guessing it’s a popular read. I’ve been doing a bit of soul-searching as well, and I think I am finally going to lay to rest one of the burdens I’ve been lugging around for some time. There’s a certain member of my family that I cannot get along with, and it’s been a plague on me for some time. I have finally realized that even though we should be close, we are very much opposite of each other. There is no way we will ever get along, and this family member won’t budge, and though I could forgive a few of the things that’s happened, I don’t think the same would be reciprocated. Apparently I am too ‘unconventional’ and for whatever reason, this family member can’t see past that and accept me for who I am. I will not change for anyone, and I can’t pretend to be something I am not. I live my life as a good person, no matter what this person (or people, for that matter) thinks, and anyone who thinks otherwise can pucker up and kiss my derriere.

My son is doing super well in school, again, this year. He’s getting a “C” in social studies, but the other grades are all A’s. He’s got some hearing problems and wears hearing aids, but he is smart as a tack. I’m proud of him, he’s an awesome kid.

I’m trying to get back into the whole coupon thing again, Another reason I need a steady internet connection, since it’s easier to find coupons to clip on websites, than it is to find them in newspapers sometimes.

I’ve also been revisiting the Northern Tradition again, I’ve found I don’t do well with labels, so I’ll stick with “Druid,” since Asatru had left me with a bad taste in my mouth from before. There are those folks who use the label “Asatru” to mean different things than what I believe it was intended for, and a lot of hard core traditionalists made me want to punch something. (i.e. Don’t ask for my opinion, then say it doesn’t fit with any kind of Lore, and junk.. umm.. that’s why it’s an ‘opinion’ … sheesh…)

I’ve also been having a lot of trouble sleeping, not sure why. I just fidget, then get back up, play a computer game (I’ve been playing a LOT of Oblivion, and “The Movies” which is a neat game that you can make your own movies with and run a simulated movie studio) and then after a couple hours, I can go back to bed.

Well, that’s about it. I know this was all pretty random, and that sort of thing, but I’ll be back up and posting my usual drivel soon! πŸ˜‰ hee hee πŸ˜€

Deep Thinkers vs. Trippers… ?

So in reading my Facebook news feed a few moments ago, I noticed that both Wil Wheaton and Georgio Tsoukalos posted some ‘deep thoughts’ (no not by jack handy.. lol I’m being serious at the moment… )
The statuses were as follows:

Wil Wheaton said “My point is, no matter where we are on our huge, complicated planet, we look at the same Sun. I … I just think that’s really cool.”;

and Georgio Tsoukalos said “BEING alive IS the biggest mind trip of them ALL. Reflect.”

NOW… after reading both of these, my first thought was “heh.. cool I’ve had those same exact thought before.. maybe not in those words but, yeah..”Β  AND THEN I read the comments… most comments were agreeable on both statuses, some looked like they were doing some friday night trolling; and some folks were asking Mr. Wheaton if he was high, and some on Mr. Tsoukalos’s were more or less saying similar things “That’s too deep for a friday night.. bake on” Pretty sure they weren’t baking cookies.

Why does it bother me? Well.. I realize that some people just are NOT deep thinkers and I can accept that.. but what honestly does it have to do with THAT? Can one be a thinker, a ponderer, a curious intellectual, without some sort of substance being involved? I’ll be honest, it’s probably been a good year since I was last drunk, but I do have deep thoughts nearly every day.
Now I realize that extroverted people are not generally known for deep thinking, but known more for their actions. I get that, and that’s cool.. but I don’t ask them “Did you have enough caffeine to make sure you could accomplish all your goals?” So why is it a big deal for a person who is prone to being a curious intellectual to have some profound thoughts? I find it really irritating, and though I realize some people do have to be under an influence to become a deep thinker, but not all of us do.
I’ve been confronted in the past with that question, so to be honest that’s another reason I don’t talk to people often. It makes me feel terribly misunderstood, and leads right back up to me feeling like an alien again, and not necessarily human. I mean, it’s really no wonder when the vast majority of people can’t understand why you would ‘think such things’ especially if that was your ‘normal’ thought process. Perhaps it’s because I am a woman, and women are not known particularly for being in such frames of mind, so well OBVIOUSLY some sort of recreational substance is involved. I find that insulting.

There’s more to life, you know?

** I would like to also point out I do see the need for certain things to become legalized (I’m avoiding certain terminology, in case the censors pick up things..)… but I’m not going to bring in politics because that isn’t the point of this post. I’m just speaking from a personal perspective… and this is a personal blog, with personal opinions.
Also! I suppose I should mention that my ‘just because I’m a woman” comment above had an air of sarcasm to it, hence why the ‘obviously’ was in italics, and also why I would find that insulting.. lol just thought I should clarify.

Let me just start off by saying, I am really super happy that people are actually following me! πŸ˜€ I didn’t think anyone would want to read my drivel but, well, here we all are! πŸ˜€ So thanks loads to my faithful readers I’ve accumulated thus far. I do hope I can hold your interest!

Alright, so I want to say that I’m not anti-social, and I don’t dislike people. I DO like to be around people, but sometimes, I don’t want loads of social interaction, because it sort of sends me into a sensory overload. With that in mind, I think for those around me I should come with some kind of warning label.

I’m not sure exactly what that label should say, but I thought I would blog about a few things that would be on there. One of them isΒ  that I’m no good at small talk. If you ask me about the weather, It’s probably likely to go like this:

Another Person: “Hey! How is the weather?”

Me: “Oh, well I see some cumulus clouds, perhaps some cumulonimbus clouds which could mean we are likely to get some heavy rains later; possibly some flash flooding if we haven’t had rain for a while. Some folks call cumulonimbus clouds “Thunder Heads,” I’m not sure where the etymology of that word comes from… ‘cumulonimbus,’ hahaha that’s kind of a weird word to say… oh hey where are you going?”

Another Person: “I think I left my oven on….”

Me: “But.. we’re at [insert the name of some other place here you’d see people you know, the mall, at work, the library..etc]

Another Person: “Oh.. yeah,Β  I was going to go outside, I get better reception on my cell so I can call home to ask.”

Me: “Oh.. yeah.. ok.. later”

Usually things go similarly to that, depending on the question.

I also don’t like large groups of people, the more people the more my anxiety rises. Especially if I don’t *know* the people then the anxiety goes up even more. I was recently at an art exhibit for my son, because he had a picture at this exhibit (it was for his school), and there were literally shoulder-to-shoulder crowds there. There was no ‘escape’ and it was as though the crowd swallowed you as you walked into it; there was no place, even a corner, where you could sit down and wait it out. I couldn’t breathe until we left the building, and got outside. It’s hard not to panic in those kinds of situations for me. I wanted to be there for my son, but the crowd was endless, and I just couldn’t wait to leave.

Even with people I know, family and some such, with large groups there tend to be 5 or more different conversations going on, until it because like white noise to my ears. I usually pick a place on the wall, or look out the window, and just stare at that spot pretending to be interested. I may also grab the nearest domesticated animal and pet them because it tends to reduce stress, until at some point I can politely go disappear if that is possible. I’ve been called ‘rude’ in the past for taking off and sitting by myself, and really it’s because I’m overwhelmed and if I disappear it’s because I’m just really in serious need of some quiet time.
I use humor to deal with things, my brain is hard-wired for comedy. Sometimes the humor is inappropriate for the situation, but it’s always been my coping mechanism, and my shield. So if the situation is inappropriate it usually means I’m having a difficult time coping, so I need to coax some laughter out, and it makes me more at ease. More often than not, however, it makes others laugh too, so it’s also my way of connecting with people I may not otherwise be connected with. I think some people who want a more ‘warm and fuzzy’ sort of connection with me are put off by that. Sometimes that sense of humor is very sarcastic, or somewhat dry, sometimes people don’t know I’m joking, unless I crack a giggle afterwards, but it can be a very obviously humorous remark too. Humor is truly the best medicine, and I’ve always adhered to that statement.

People always wonder why I don’t smile a whole lot. Well, I don’t smile much for pictures because I don’t ‘waste’ my smiles. I rarely smile unless there is something particularly funny, or anything smile-worthy, to smile about. It doesn’t mean I’m not happy, and it doesn’t mean I’m sad, it just means there isn’t anything going on at the moment that I need to smile for.

I’m a bit of a curmudgeon, a little bit misanthropic, a teency bit bitter about some things, I’m territorial with my things and my environment, I don’t like people messing with my stuff without permission to do so. I’m suspicious of others at times, maybe even a smidge paranoid. I’m that way because experiences have made me that way. I used to be very open and very trusting of others, until the over-sheltering of my childhood ended and I ventured forth into adulthood. Often investing trust in others who, some of the time, hurt me by ‘borrowing’ things and not giving them back, or pretending to be my friend but in the end I find that they keep me around because they find me amusing, then when I have a need for a real friend to talk to, they disappear. It’s as though I’m in a ‘serious’ mood I’m no longer entertaining, and people find excuses to bail out when I need them the most. I have very few actual friends because of this. I also can’t say I really have a ‘best friend’. So at times I do feel very alone. I don’t always feel like I have people to talk to. There are people that try to ‘get in’, but at the end of the day I become suspicious of themΒ  because I wonder when they will just hit the road also, because I may have a serious moment and really need someone, and they won’t be there.

I’m not a generally sad or depressed person, but it’s things like that which do make me a little bit sad. I can’t help who I am, whether I was totally born this way, and little additions have been added on over the years because of bad experiences with people, I still can’t help that this is the person I am, and have become. I’m not asking for pity, or advice, and I don’t need ‘saving’, I am who I am. I’m pretty complicated, so just when you think you have me figured out, you haven’t really. I’m really a charming person once you get to know me, if you are persistent and don’t mind breaking down several layers of barriers. I’ve been told by many I’m one of the nicest, most loyal, most generous friend they could have ever had, you just have to read my warning label.

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